Jennifer McKenzie

Romance--Boy meets girl. Romantic Suspense--Boy meets girl with dead bodies.
Saturday, March 31, 2007

A Miss Snark Thesauras

Love her or hate her or think she's a waste of time, Miss Snark is a gold mine of invaluable information for writers of every type and personality. Well, a few days ago, she started a thesaurus for Snark words and such. This is the result. There were a few more added.
I have to say that I enjoyed myself. I hope you enjoy these. I copied them from her blog for your edification. LOL. See if you can use them in a sentence.

ciuridaphobia – (n) -- the fear of squirrels, enveloping both the fear of being overrun by squirrels and the compulsion to attack them.

clooneyphilia – (n) -- the ongoing and overriding attraction to George Clooney.

clooneysciuridaphiliaphobia – (n) -- the fear that George Clooney likes squirrels (and you'll have to accept everything about that, right down to the Hummel squirrel figurines and concrete garden squirrels that decorate his palazzo).

ensnarkened - (v) – the act of being enlightened by the comments of Miss Snark, esp. crapometer comments.

ihpwssnarkic – (adj) -- under the rule of Snark.

snarkaeology – (n) -- the study of the great Snarks of our dim past, and how these Snarks were used against our dim ancestors.

snarkaholic – (n) -- a snarkling who wants to quit reading Miss Snark and get some damned work done, but reasons, after just this one post...but it never ends at just one.

snarkalicious – (adj) -- that warm, moist feeling in the mouth when reading Miss Snark's advice.

snark and it – (colloq.) -- gin and tonic.

snarkanthropist – (n) -- one who links to Miss Snark on his/her own blog, thus enabling other innocent bloggers to become addicted.

snarkarama – (n) -- term used to describe a well-deserved, some may say vicious, snarking of a clueless nitwit.

snarkaritis - (n) -- a type of RSI which involves constantly trying to post "witty" messages here as a form of social bonding in antidote to working in such a lonely profession. And to avoid having to do any real work, obviously.

snarkasm - (n) -- a) the berating of the clue-free using witty repartee and nitwitticism to hilarious result. Snarkasm may require a beverage warning label; b) The explosive joy one feels when the anticipation of reading MS's blog is realized.

snark-attack – (n) -- unexpected loss of a limb due to cluestick activity while swimming in cloudy or unfamiliar waters.

snarkcoma – (n) -- what a writer falls into after too much blog reading, especially common during crapometer time periods.

snarkelation – (n) -- euphoria induced by finding positive comments by Miss Snark on one's crapometer/contest entry.

snarkeling – (v) -- the act of putting on a websuit and diving into the cold pool of the collective webconscious, while being kept alert and alive by the stream of fresh air provided through one’s snarkel.

snarkeology – (n) -- the act of digging through the snarkives for a solution to one's most recent act of nitwittery.

snark extinguisher – (n) -- what MS has on hand always, to be used only in case of follicle ignition (see also: hair on fire).

snarkginitis – (n) -- the disease associated with reading very poorly written query letters, which requires large amounts of gin.

snarkian – (adj) -- of or relating to Miss Snark and/or her blog.

snarkinac – (n) -- contains the only known maps of Rabbitania and its suburbs. Also contains maps and blueprints (and alarm system codes) to Clooney's house.

snarkination! – (exc) -- an expletive spewed out over the keyboard when one realizes one has typed nitwittery.

snarkisms – (n) -– funny; e.g, an epileptic with a sleeping disorder, see snarkilepsy/snarkolepsy, not so funny.

snarkissistic - (adj) -- the state of being in love with Miss Snark, applies to all Snarklings and Mr. Clooney (!)

snarkitania - (n) -- the state where Miss S rules, where stilettos and gin are mandatory, Killer Yapp reigns as viceroy, and Mr C is a demigod. Not to be confused with Rabbitania, a whole 'nother country.

snarkite – (n) –- a follower of all things Snark.

snarkjection – (n) -- what I received in response to my query.

snarkocity – (n) – 1) the state of being Miss Snark; 2) the act of attempting to emulate Miss Snark; 3) the place where Snarklings hold their conventions.

snarkodelic – (adj) -- an author's mental state characterized by distorted perceptions along with hallucinations and feelings of euphoria and despair while attempting to adhere to guidelines established by literary agents in stilettos carrying small white dogs.

snarkogeddon – (n) -- the cleansing of the Snark email box.

snarkology – (n) --study of the snarkives.

snarkophagy - (v) -- the act of feeding on Snarkisms and/or Snarkasm (see above) for agent wisdom and knowledge.

snarkophagus – (n) -- where memorable nitwits are entombed forever in the snarkives (alt) - stone coffin in which one's literary career is entombed after once too often arousing the ire of Miss Snark.

snarkophant – (n) -- one who sucks up to Miss Snark in order to get something from her.

snarkophile – (n) -- a snarkling who visits writer's forums and offers advice, but every one of their posts starts with, "Well, according to Miss Snark..." (alt) one who adores Miss Snark because of her innate deity and snarkiness.

snarkophobia – (n) -- fear of literary agents in stilettos carrying small white dogs.

snarkotic - (n) –- a) a soothing, positive reply posted on Miss Snark's blog. 2. A short phrase meant to sharpen the senses of a writer in a non-productive, dream-like state, often requiring the addition of one or more ounces of gin. (adj) -- pertaining to, or resulting from exposure to a snarkotic, e.g., The author was in a snarkotic trance after winning the IOL contest.

snark-plug – (n) -- essential component in the firing mechanism of a clue gun

snarkspeak – (n) -- the distinctive jargon of snarklings and snarkophiles, which includes terms such as "nitwit" and acronyms such as "wtf?"

snarktasy – (n) -- what occurs after Mr. Clooney arrives at Miss Snark's lair.

snarky – (adj) -- setting free your inner Miss Snark when dealing with the nitwits you encounter in real life. Alternatively, as I recently discovered, British slang for being testy or irritable; short.

snarquery – (n) – a query that has much improved thanks to the expert advice of Miss Snark.

stilettosnark – (n) -- scar left on hapless authors who expose their nitwittery to Miss Snark.

WTS - (excl) -- "What the Snark?" the exclamation uttered when a (different) agent does something you cannot fathom.

Yappbiteitis – (n) - the act of having Miss Snark sic Killer Yapp on those who have offended or bored her.

compiled from comments column by Termagant 2
(who should be doing something called WRITING!!!)
but never mind that now; Thank You.

Labels: snarkasaurus

posted at 6:53 AM by Jennifer :: 1 comments

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Why I Love The Deadliest Catch TT Style

In honor of the anticipation of the new season of "The Deadliest Catch" which is one of my absolute FAVORITE shows, I'm doing the Thursday Thirteen for that show.
You have to check it out.
The Deadliest Catch

Thirteen Things Reasons I Love The Deadliest Catch

1…. Sig Hansen.
Captain of the Northwestern, he's a "highliner" captain. What that means is that he can be a real jerk, but he brings in the crab. What a guy. *blissful sigh*

2. Edgar Hansen.
Sig's brother, he's a dreamy, dorky fisherman that just makes me laugh and drool. (shh don't tell my hubby)

3. Phil Harris.
Captain of the Cornelia Marie, he's a chain smoking, hard working captain that I love. Plus, he's a great captain.

4. Catchy quotes that make the show a crack up. Such as Phil of the Cornelia Marie: "We cheated death one more time. I feel like a one-legged man in an a**-kicking contest." Go HERE for more

5. My husband is an ex-fisherman.
Joe gave me tons of pointers about details that I love to hear as we watch the show....obsessively.

6. It inspired me to write.
"Heart Of The Storm" releasing in print on September 1st, 2007 from Whiskey Creek/Torrid Press was inspired by the last three seasons of "Deadliest Catch". I hope I do it justice.

7. The drama.
From Edgar getting lost during their cod fishing grind and Captain Rick Quashnick being a total jerk promising the captain's chair to his first mate and renigging, the drama on the show is awesome.

8. The danger.
As one of the deadliest jobs, I find myself holding my breath as huge waves slam into the boats. I marvel at the perseverance and the balance of the men who work the deck.

9. The humor.
From weird dancing in tutus on the the deck of The Rollo to Sig's suggestion box, I've laughed my butt off while I've watched.

10. The heartbreak.
As the men do some of the most mind numbing, back breaking work imaginable, tears aren't far away when they talk to their wives over the phone and pain etches every line of their face. Or you go through the search for a downed vessel that had friends that are now lost at sea. Or you watch Edgar fighting with the daily fishing grind knowing that his new daughter is being born without him.
I'm getting choked up.

11. The camaraderie.
Both observing the easy back and forth between the fisherman (like Edgar waking up one of the deckhands with a blowtorch) and the time my hubby and I spend together watching it are times I treasure.

12. The Issues.
As the wife of an ex-fisherman, it's rare to see the other side of the coin. There are TONS of nature shows that cover the evironmentalist point of view. This show doesn't do it with a heavy hand, but it certainly shows the difficulty of making a living making sure crab makes it to market. When Eric Nyhammer (Captain of The Rollo) is boarded by the Coast Guard and later deals with the stringent quota system, the obstacles faced by men making a living on the sea are very well portrayed without taking any sides.

13. The Photography.
I live by the ocean. I know it's power and it's beauty and yet, this show gives me a dose of awe inspiring photography the only makes me hungry for more. From the majesty of the vessels, to the riveting motion of the men on deck, it's one gratifying meal after another.

Whatever your opinion of fishing, this show is a fascinating portrayal of a way of life that may not be with us much longer. Check it out.

April 3rd, 9pm. I'll be there with ya.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

posted at 12:52 PM by Jennifer :: 16 comments

Monday, March 26, 2007

The Writer's Anonymous Twelve Steps

Deborah Dennis Mills did a blog that caught my eye. (Ah the joys of obsessively Googling oneself). This little gem is awesome. Her url is at the bottom. Thank you so much Deborah.

Writer's Anonymous Twelve Steps

1. I admit I am powerless without writing — my life has become unmanageable and intangible, and I get a little cranky.

2. I believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.

3. I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the daily act of writing, knowing that if I can brush my teeth, put on some underwear and watch Dr. Phil every day, I can set aside a couple of hours to achieve my dream.

4. I will make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself — not only to come to terms with my failures and missteps, but also to use as material in my book.

5. I admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my addiction to writing, its power over me, and my commitment to accomplish my goals.

6. I am entirely ready to have God remove my defects of character, including, but not limited to, procrastination, self-doubt, and QVC.

7. I humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings so they do not become impediments to my writing career, and are not discovered by The National Enquirer or People Magazine when I become famous.

8. I will make a list of all persons I have harmed in my life, and I am willing to make amends to them all — even if it would have made a great screenplay.

9. I will not believe in the power of “Writers Block”, understanding that it has a false control over me, allowing me to quit, give up, or otherwise forego my dream and goals.

10. I will listen to, accept and acknowledge criticism and other forms of constructive input, knowing there is always some truth to the suggestions, no matter how wrong I pretend they are.

11. I will not allow literary agents, editors, teachers, experts, consultants, friends, parents, spouses, or even other writers to dissuade me — in any words, form, or manner — from my dream, goal and commitment to become the successful writer I will be.

12. I will seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, praying for knowledge of His will for me, and the power to carry that out. And to complete my manuscript, of course.

(With apologies to Alcoholics Anonymous)

Today’s Coffee: Green Mountain - Hazelnut cream

I enjoyed that. In case you want some more of the "why do I bother" wandering (or you're trying to avoid that work in progress) here's another blog for the heck of it.

101 Reasons To Stop Writing

courtesy of Nathan Bransford to his "Bran Fans".
Oh there's oodles of distracting entertainment on the web. Let's not even talk about "You Tube".

posted at 4:41 PM by Jennifer :: 2 comments

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Another Personal Note

I was going to go back to my promotion go round but some things have come up and I'm going to blog about them instead.

Good thing: I finished my edits on "Perfect Part III" which have been giving me FITS for a week. Sent them to my editor and instantly breathed a sigh of relief.

Not So Good Thing: I've got two manuscripts that both have some things that need addressing. One is 11K and actually interests my editor, so it's my next project. (See my pen name's blog for that info. You know I try and keep them separate. LOL.) The other one is a Sci Fi Erotic that needs to be 55K and is currently 30K.

Good Thing: "Double Trouble" the sequel to "Singled Out" will be out in April. The edits on this one were very nice and didn't take me too long. Which is good since I would stare blankly at my "Perfect" edits.

Not So Good Thing: Life is still flying at a break neck pace around my house. I'm "fitting in" my writing which mean I'm frequently writing sex scenes and black moments with "Transformers" in the background.

Writing, for me, seems to be a constant barrage of this back and forth, up and down. There are days that I feel I'm reaching my goal and days I feel I don't know what my goal really is. Some days I can write a good yarn. Some days I should hang it up and stop collecting $2 checks.
I'm going to be pounding away at the road to publishing success. Do you ever feel that you're on that road and everyone is giving you different directions? It's like when you go to someone's house and three people give you three different ways to get there--all of which are valid.

Makes me want to start singing a road song. "Life is a highway!....."

*Goes off humming*

posted at 6:14 AM by Jennifer :: 3 comments

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things Songs I Tend To Sing When I'm Alone

1…. "Until I Met You" by The Manhattan Transfer (This one annoys almost everyone I know)
2. "Whiskey Makes The World Go Round" by Daryl Worley. (This is a new one. It's hilarious)
3. "Nothin' But The Taillights" by Clint Black. (Great Song)
4. "The Stars Fell Down On Alabama" by The Manhattan Transfer
5. "The Tender Trap" Frank Sinatra
6. "Drown You Out" by Crossfade
7. "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park (And I'm about to Break!!!)
8. "All Jacked Up" by Gretchen Wilson (BIG whiskey fan)
9. "Full Time Job" by Gretchen Wilson (See a theme here?)
10. "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor
11. "The Eminem Show" by Eminem
12. "Call Me When You're Sober" by Evanescence
13. "Steady As She Goes" by Dave Matthews Band.

I have now joined the legion that do the Thursday Thirteen. LOL. Yayyyyyy.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

posted at 12:39 PM by Jennifer :: 14 comments

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

One Wild Weekend by T. Versteeg--A Review

Toni Sue Versteeg has offered up another wonderful story of a wise cracking heroine and the fumbling attempts to find love. One of the things I love about Toni Sue's books is her snippy dialog and her real, honest characterizations.

"One Wild Weekend" is no different. Melissa is a red headed, smart talking woman who, on the way to a business conference, drinks a teeny weeny too much and ends up in the mile high club. Her partner is a VERY sexy hero, Dane, who made ME drool.

I love the way Toni Sue gives her heroine all the normal feelings of a woman who has done something unusually risky and "almost" regrets it. Melissa is a believable, wonderful heroine who could be my best friend or yours.

Jealousy, misunderstandings and a FABULOUS pool scene ensues and the story never gets boring. The happy ending is in jeopardy, even at the end, when she waits......and call him. I found myself wondering whether she was going to be too late. Luckily, with the help of her best friend, Melissa finds her happy ending. How? You'll have to read "One Wild Weekend" to find out.

I have to give Toni Sue Versteeg 41/2 Dancing Hobbes

posted at 7:14 AM by Jennifer :: 0 comments

Monday, March 19, 2007

On A Personal Note

Taking a break for a moment from the ongoing promotion, I have a little something to share. I've been reading Anne Lamott's book "Bird By Bird" and loving it. I'm going to share a little from it just for all of you.

"To be a good writer, you not only have to write a great deal but you have to care. You do not have to have a complicated moral philosophy. But a writer always tries, I think, to be a part of the solution, to understand a little about life and to pass this on......A moral position is a passionate caring inside you. We are all in danger now and have a new everything to face, and there is no point gathering an audience and demanding its attention unless you have something to say that is important and constructive. My friend Carpenter says we no longer need Chicken Little to tell us the sky is falling, because it already has. The issue now is how to take care of one another." ("Bird By Bird" by Anne Lamott pp. 107-08)

I think this is true. The main themes in my stories are acceptance and struggle. No matter what the context, I believe in the human struggle to find acceptance of self, forgiveness, others' weaknesses and situations. It's the running crux of all my plots.
Does that make sense?

posted at 7:42 AM by Jennifer :: 5 comments

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Another Great Book for Sale

I know it seems like I've had a lot of books up, but there's just sooooo many great ones out there. This one is terrific.

LEAP OF FATE by Antonia Pearce

Love, Fate and Death. Three powerful forces that rule the universe. But are they really mutually exclusive?

IPB Image

Available at Cobblestone-Press, LLC

What would you do with twenty-four more hours with the lost love of your life?

Merryn Porter finds out when a freak accident kills her as she saves her best friends on their wedding day. Unaware she’s dead, she’s also forgotten the bride’s brother died ten years earlier. She does remember he broke her heart.

Luke Hanson has been waiting in limbo to atone for rejecting his beloved Merryn and Fate cuts him a deal: twenty-four hours to make up for her suffering. If he succeeds, she gets another shot at life.

A miracle really, but everything has a price…

posted at 9:01 PM by Jennifer :: 1 comments

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

One Of My Favorite Divas With A Great One!!!

Diva Laura (Rose Middleton) is one of my favorite Diva authors. "Tantalizer" and "One Foot Forward" are two of my favorite reads. Now, she's releasing with Ellora's Cave. Go Laura!!! She's an Aussie and one of the best emotional writers I know. She knows how to twist you in knots and then give you a happy ending. Enjoy.

by Rose Middleton

Of all the clubs in town, she had to dirty dance her way into his…

Other men would do anything to be in Rocket Jones’ shoes. Heir to a media empire, CEO of the hottest nightclub, and now, a raven-haired goddess offering him no-strings-attached sex. He’s got it made, right? Wrong. Once is never enough. Before he knows it, he’s willing to fight through her dark past, family expectations and her career to make her his.

It was only supposed to be one night…

Fighter pilot Robyn Banks is on a mission to satisfy a seriously deprived sexual drive. With ten days to play, she beckons the sexy hunk down from the shadows and gives in to carnal desires. She’s under no illusion about her destiny, and it’s not with the suave businessman who comes from a world of opportunity. But as the days count down until she must return, Robyn is forced to relive the nightmare that saw her run from her family and for the first time, confront her demons and decide on a future. Can she find a way to combine her love of flying with the man who’s stolen her heart?

To read an excerpt, visit Ellora's Cave!

posted at 6:19 AM by Jennifer :: 0 comments

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Head On Over to Shadows of Passion

Dayna has begun the "Topic of the week" on Shadows Of Passion Please come on over and take a look. It's truly amazing.

posted at 6:04 AM by Jennifer :: 1 comments

Friday, March 09, 2007

I've Got A New Theme Song

Once a year, I usually find a song that is my "theme song" for the year. Sugarland has a new CD out that I love, but the best one on there is "Happy Endings".

Cowboys ride into sunsets
The good guy always gets the girl
Cinderella has just fit
The glass slipper that changed her world.

We all know the stories
We all know the fairy tales
We all get the glory
Of making it for ourselves

From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for a happy ending

We come here with nothing
And take it with us the day we leave
The first and last breath don't matter
It's all the ones that are in between
It's the reason the caged bird sings
It's why we sit in the movies
All the way to the closing scene

Repeat Chorus

And for all those dreamers who have come and gone
Who have reached for the stars, who have overcome
You're the hope, you're the wish, you're the truth
Baby's here's the proof

Baby's born in the ghetto
Baby's born with a silver spoon
One tells his mama "I have a dream"
One tells his mama "I'll walk the moon".

Repeat Chorus

I love this song. It's why I write romance. It's my theme song for the year. Wish you all could hear it but I'm not THAT computer savvy. LOL.
Do you have a theme song?

posted at 2:17 PM by Jennifer :: 4 comments

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Happy Birthday, Michelle

This is my best friend, Michelle. Many of you know her because I talk about her all the time. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me (and that includes my wonderful hubby, so that says something). I couldn't have gone through the last twelve years without her.

She's the person I based Michaela Johnston on in "Singled Out". She's the one who reminds me that if my writing sucked, I wouldn't have any contracts. She's the one who helps me stay sane in the midst of every monetary, mommy and relationship crisis. No one does more, is more and loves more than she does.

Get the idea that she's awesome? That's the plan. Happy Birthday, darlin. Here's hoping that your day is as special as you are.

posted at 7:46 AM by Jennifer :: 1 comments

Monday, March 05, 2007

Fellow Torrid Author Raelynn Blue's "Desire Into Gold"

I'm at Shadow's Of Passion today and don't forget to check out Dayna's ongoing workshop posted on Saturday. We're getting all "controversial" over there.
Raelynn Blue is coming out with several releases. Check out this one.

Available Now, from Torrid
Title: Desire Into Gold
Author: RaeLynn Blue
E-book ISBN: 978-1-59374-794-7
Print ISBN: 978-1-59374-793-0
Price : e-book ($5.49); print ($12.95)
Publisher: Torrid

Blurb: Given in exchange for her father's life, Beauty Miller must
turn desire into gold! A virgin, she knows very little of desire,
let alone how to turn it into gold. Yet her very life depends on her
ability to convince her captive that she can do just that. When a
little man appears offers to turn the trick for her, Beauty is
thrilled. Soon her joy turns into terror as the little man threatens
to take her most sacred gift--unless she can guess his name!

Acting as an undercover knight, Josh C. Prince, wants nothing better
than to slap the magical bracelets on Kingston Jones, known fairy
dust smuggler in his father's kingdom. His mission gets complicated
when Jones brings in a young girl named Beauty and locks her in a
tower. Smitten, his own desires inflamed beyond anything he's felt
before, Josh knows he must have her.

But can he rescue Beauty and get the goods on Jones?

posted at 5:08 AM by Jennifer :: 0 comments

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Ebook Love Chat Tomorrow

Ebook Love is hosting a chat for Dara Edmundson, Terry O'Dell and my pen name for the Wild Rose Press Anthology Sunday March 4th. Come on over and chat with us. Don't leave me at the mercy of those crickets. Anyone? Anyone?
You could win a free copy of the anthology. It's going to be fun. See you there.

posted at 4:39 PM by Jennifer :: 1 comments

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