Jennifer McKenzie
Romance--Boy meets girl. Romantic Suspense--Boy meets girl with dead bodies.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
An American Attitude? Or just human?
One of the things about working at a nine to five job, taking care of the kids at night with the redneck out of town, and doing the financial scramble is that I do a lot of complaining. As I went shopping last night--too tired and stressed to go to the discount store 15 miles away so I got hosed--and I marveled at my feeling of entitlement.
Somehow, there is a part of me that believes "I deserve more" that is aggravated by frustration. I see it in my kids and the redneck. I see it in Michelle's son. I don't always see it in myself. Yet, cruising down the aisles, trying to keep the grocery bill down to a dull roar, I bought a book. That's right. Did I mention that we are financially strapped? Books are a luxury. Especially new books. And the excuses I had were hilarious. "I haven't had a cigarette for eleven days. Technically, I've been saving us money."
Great logic.
Sometimes I notice that pop culture seems to encourage this. Celebrity eye candy is huge and popular. The "haves" show off their bling bling, their lifestyle and we eat it up. I know that I am suitably appalled at the lavish spending habits of big names, but I am jealous. They have accountants, maids, limo drivers etc. Those are all my jobs. They have nannys. I have daycare.
On the flip side, there is also the other direction to look toward. I'm one of the lucky few who own my own home (for now) and even my bills reveal that I have much to be thankful for--high speed internet, cell phones, medical bills. All of these things are miles out of reach for some.
My point is this. In times where everything seems so frustrating and wrong, I seek to be content with what I have. The disease of "more" is always around me, my children, my friends and the redneck. Sure, the last few months have been very disappointing. Things I really wanted to do have not happened for me. But I'm NOT four years old. (I'm reminding myself of this.) It's no great sacrifice to give up expensive trips, movie theaters or the latest CD by whoever. Yet, my attitude is often difficult to adjust.
By the way, though, the book was worth it. Just sayin'.
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Name:: Jennifer McKenzie Location:: California
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